Whimper!!!!

Okay, I'll share. Real MRIs aren't ANYTHING like they have on House. What you get is a big machine that has a tiny hole in it they shove you into.

Okay, I knew I wasn't going in head first since it was just my knee that needed to be scanned. What I didn't realize was how MUCH of my body was going in with it!

I had my hands laying over my upper tummy and I went in about up to my breasts. My elbows were against the wall of the tube just inside the mouth and I had my elbows tucked in. I looked up to see an opening with the words "laser aperture" written over it. Great, just what I need to see, the word laser above my head while I am trapped on my back in the tiny tube.

The tech had made me as comfortable as possible, even offered me a blanket, which I accepted since it was freezing in the room. I didn't have to undress and change into a gown, for which I am eternally grateful. I'd made sure that everything I was wearing was metal free and I'd taken off my necklace, earrings and glasses and left them with the hubby.

The tech gave me a button to push if I needed any help and then put the coils under and over my knee and then a sandbag over my right ankle to help keep it still. Then she gave me a pair of earphones (not the kind with music darn it) to help dampen the noise from the machine. Then she slide me in and left the room.

Now I had psyched my self up for this, told myself since my head wasn't going to be in the machine I wasn't going to worry about my slight case of claustrophobia. It's just a little case, pops up only once in a while, like when the &$%^$ elevator stops and won't move or when I try and tour a submarine. So I just breathed normally, listened to the noises the machine was making and tried to mediate.

Worked for about the first 15-20 minutes and then things started going down hill.

I am not at all comfortable being on my back, the scoliosis is
enough that my spine won't go properly straight and after a number of minutes I start to feel it. By the time 20 minutes rolled by, the pain was enough to distract me. Not to mention my elbows were not under the blanket enough and that blasted machine is COLD!

Then my bladder kicked in and I started realizing that I was shoved into a space barely bigger then a mummy sleeping back, which I hate. And all this time I couldn't move, I had no idea how much time had passed and then the tech came in to see if I was okay as the previous scan hadn't turned out too well as I'd apparently moved my knee. I don't remember moving my knee, so we decided it was an involuntary movement on my part. So we continue.

Now I am getting very uncomfortable, the pain in my back is getting worse and now my right hip gets into the act. About all I can move is my fingers, which I do as my hands were going numb.

The machine goes quiet and I think, YAY! We're done, but no, it starts up again. I try and meditate again, but it isn't working and all I can think of was the growing discomfort.

WAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now I am starting to feel very closed in and really want to move. I comptemplate pushing the button so I can get up for a moment and hit the ladies, but I don't since that would mean getting back in the machine and I am not feeling much of my left foot and my right foot is feeling funny. I try closing my eyes, but I can really start to feel the weight of the machine on me (even tho it isn't) and all I can think of is how much I am hurting and really, really, REALLY wanting to move. The need to move is getting worse and then if feels like the machine is closing in on me.

I started mutter "are we done yet?" over and over again, between quiet whimpers as I try and figure out how to stop hurting and not move doing it. The machine kicks on and off again and then suddenly, silence.

I hold my breath, thinking it was going to start up again, but the tech comes in and says we are done. It was all I could do to not wiggle my way out of that machine and escape.

She slides the table out and I attempt to get up. She asks if she can help, but since I can't explain how she could without me screaming in pain, I say no thank you. My back is doing it's darnedest to lock up completely, but I manage to roll enough to lever myself up and the room starts spinning. I realize my breathing had gotten faster, so I try and slow it down.

I manage to stand up and stretch a bit and put my crocs back on and hobble into the hall and get my cane. The tech gives me a couple of coupons for the cafeteria and I leave. As soon as I can I hit the ladies and then the shakes start. Not bad, but I'm feeling a bit constricted in my breathing and decide I do need to get some food. Hit the cafeteria for a bagel and cream cheese and a chocolate chip muffin. Decide I have to have coffee to. Manage to get coffee without spilling it all over and once my bagel is out of the toaster, try and eat. Can't drink the coffee, it is Starbucks and tastes extra burnt and undrinkable. I get the bagel down fine and then we head out to the car.

Get to work and I try to finish calming down, but I got the incredible urge to curl up under my desk and cry. That feeling didn't go away until last evening. Tried eating lunch, made one toasted cheese sandwich, ended up throwing most of it away as I couldn't eat it. Good thing I still had the muffin as I nibbled on that in the afternoon.

All afternoon as soon as I thought I was feeling better, I would flash on that machine and every time it felt tighter and tighter.

If I ever have to get another MRI I am insisting on general anesthesia as I do NOT want to go thru that again. If it was that bad with my head out side of it, it will be REALLY bad if I have to go in head first.
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