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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"FULL-BREASTED CANADIAN"
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
"VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE"
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED"
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
"MEDICALLY ENHANCED"
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE"
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is
"PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER"
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a
"LIQUID-GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION"
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
"GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
"ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a
case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE
EMPATHY"
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED"
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"FULL-BREASTED CANADIAN"
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
"VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE"
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED"
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
"MEDICALLY ENHANCED"
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE"
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is
"PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER"
---------------
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a
"LIQUID-GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION"
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
"GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
"ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a
case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE
EMPATHY"
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED"
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
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