People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.
Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will
get soaking wet.
The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are
urinate and attend funerals.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos?
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry
in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.
Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.
Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you
are probably dead.
As usual, if you don't forward this to 10 of your friends within the
next 5 minutes, your belly button will fall off. Really... it's
true! Have I ever lied to you?
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